Dear Uterus-
Why are you such a snarky jack ass? Why do you make me a crazy psycho bitch for 5 days and then curse me with horrid, back searing pain for another 5 days?! I am nothing but nice to you! Im fucking 27 years old---you should have gotten your pain-in-the-assness out of yourself in your rebelious "teenager" years. You are nice and safe and warm under many layers of warm belly fat and you still cause me agony! To make you stop hurting , I have done all of the "supposed" things you like ----8 glasses of water, yoga stretches, warm showers and heating pads, deep breathing---i think you started nasty rumors that you like these things just for the shear pleasure of wanting to see me suffer more. The only thing you do seem to like is 800mg of ibuprofen, but your cheeky "friend" -the digestive system -has different ideas about that--really, the two of you should get together and go bowling and decide what the fuck you want from me.
sincerely,
thais
PS- you look like a cow.
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