Thursday, July 31, 2008

missing the old

So I have never ever liked change...as a matter of fact, i usually turn into a major bitch when change occurs....ok, i understand i am ALWAYS a major bitch, but lets just say it gets magnified.

So my non-descript hospital finally moved out of its dated facilities into a state-of-the-art facility 2 weeks ago. At first it was exciting, as all new things are....now i havent gotten lunch in 2 weeks, i dont feel safe and every meeting i go to has at least one person throwing a temper tantrum or fighting (and it has only been me once!)

I never thought i would miss the random weeds growing into my office window (office flora) or the rusty pipe leaking out of an open ceiling onto a bucket on my desk (it was my water feature---how many people have offices with a water feature !?)

I never thought I would miss passing random abandon building crumbling from abandonment

I never thought I would miss having to hold my breathe to go into a closet because there is asbestos in it (i know, like holding my breath is REALLY going to help)

I never thought I would miss bitching about the scorching heat (near 100 degrees in my old office in the summer AND winter)

I never thought I would miss having to lock the 2 different bathroom door becuase its a co-educational bathroom (very ali mcbeal of us..)

I never thought I would i miss the the old, but familiar smell of black mold

I never thought I would miss hitting pot holes the size of texas as i navigated the sprawling campus utilizing my own gas to get form place to place

I never thought I would miss getting drenched or snowed upon while traversing between complexes

I never thought I would miss working in a builiding which has a sketchy history and to which patients used to call "The Projects" , "The Snakepit" or "The Cages" when i first started to work there and where a staff member was actually killed (dont tell my mother that....it was a accident - things were much improved)

but alas, i do. I know that it is some how better we are in the newer place, but i am homesick for the old place. It had so much history, which is one of the things i loved the most about the non-descript hospital i work at.
oh well ,i guess time heals all wounds.

PS- nj gestapo, please dont arrest me for these comments.

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

yes two posts on 1 night

I have been meaning to repost this one for like 2 weeks since my friend A posted it on her website
as you may or maynot know, one of my only hobbies i truly enjoy is reading...now usuaully i am relegated to reading chicklit or trash becuase my brain needs a good rest...however, i was pleasantly surprised with the results of this!!! The survey says you are supposed to read at least 6 of these----well dont i feel learned!!!!!!! I have read 36 of them!!!!! I would just like to give a shout out to my high shcool english teachers who forced me to read these books and therefore made me educated!! thank you ms. timko, ms. ludovico-marchochi, and ms. pastula - you rock!

1) Look at the list and bold those you have read.
2) Italicize those you intend to read.
3) Underline the books you LOVE.
4) Reprint this list in your blog so we can try and track down these people who've read 6 and force books upon them ;-)"


1 Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen
2 The Lord of the Rings en
- JRR Tolkien 0 saw the movies - does that count?
3 Jane Eyre - Charlotte Bronte
4 Harry Potter series - JK Rowling - unlike everyone else int he world, i have no desire!
5 To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper Lee
6 The Bible
7. wuthering hieghts - emily bronte
8 Nineteen Eighty Four - George Orwell
.9 His Dark Materials - Philip Pullman
10. great expectations
11 Little Women - Louisa M Alcott
12 Tess of the D'Urbervilles - Thomas Hardy
13 Catch 22 - Joseph Heller
14 Complete Works of Shakespeare -not the complete- but a lot
15 Rebecca - Daphne Du Maurier
16 The Hobbit - JRR Tolkien
17 Birdsong - Sebastian Faulks
18 Catcher in the Rye - JD Salinger
19 The Time Traveller's Wife - Audrey Niffenegger
20 Middlemarch - George Eliot
21 Gone With The Wind - Margaret Mitchell
22 The Great Gatsby - F Scott Fitzgerald
23 Bleak House - Charles Dickens
24 War and Peace - Leo Tolstoy - i tried - did not succeed
25 The Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy - Douglas Adams
26 Brideshead Revisited - Evelyn Waugh
27 Crime and Punishment - Fyodor Dostoyevsky
28 Grapes of Wrath - John Steinbeck
29 Alice in Wonderland - Lewis Carroll
30 The Wind in the Willows - Kenneth Grahame
31 Anna Karenina - Leo Tolstoy
32 David Copperfield - Charles Dickens
33 Chronicles of Narnia - CS Lewis
34 Emma - Jane Austen
35 Persuasion - Jane Austen
36 The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe - CS Lewis -
37 The Kite Runner - Khaled Hosseini
38 Captain Corelli's Mandolin - Louis De Bernieres
39 Memoirs of a Geisha - Arthur Golden
40 Winnie the Pooh - AA Milne
41 Animal Farm - George Orwell
42 The Da Vinci Code - Dan Brown
43 One Hundred Years of Solitude - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
44 A Prayer for Owen Meany - John Irving
45 The Woman in White - Wilkie Collins
46 Anne of Green Gables - LM Montgomery
47 Far From The Madding Crowd - Thomas Hardy
48 The Handmaid's Tale - Margaret Atwood 0 such a WIERD book
49 Lord of the Flies - William Golding
50 Atonement - Ian McEwan
51 Life of Pi - Yann Martel
52 Dune - Frank Herbert
53 Cold Comfort Farm - Stella Gibbons
54 Sense and Sensibility - Jane Austen - i love jane austen
55 A Suitable Boy - Vikram Seth
56 The Shadow of the Wind - Carlos Ruiz Zafon
57 A Tale Of Two Cities - Charles Dickens
58 Brave New World - Aldous Huxley
59 The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time - Mark Haddon
60 Love In The Time Of Cholera - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
61 Of Mice and Men - John Steinbeck
!62 Lolita - Vladimir Nabokov
63 The Secret History - Donna Tartt
64 The Lovely Bones - Alice Sebold
65 Count of Monte Cristo - Alexandre Dumas
66 On The Road - Jack Kerouac
67 Jude the Obscure - Thomas Hardy
68 Bridget Jones's Diary - Helen Fielding
69 Midnight's Children - Salman Rushdie
70 Moby Dick - Herman Melville
71 Oliver Twist - Charles Dickens
?72 Dracula - Bram Stoker
73 The Secret Garden - Frances Hodgson Burnett
74 Notes From A Small Island - Bill Bryson
75 Ulysses - James Joyce
76 The Bell Jar - Sylvia Plath
77 Swallows and Amazons - Arthur Ransome
78 Germinal - Emile Zola
79 Vanity Fair - William Makepeace Thackeray
80 Possession - AS Byatt
81 A Christmas Carol - Charles Dickens
82 Cloud Atlas - David Mitchell
83 The Color Purple - Alice Walker
84 The Remains of the Day - Kazuo Ishiguro
85 Madame Bovary - Gustave Flaubert - one of the world's first feminist novels...written by a man!!
86 A Fine Balance - Rohinton Mistry
87 Charlotte's Web - EB White
88 The Five People You Meet In Heaven - Mitch Albom - i cried my eyes out!
89 Adventures of Sherlock Holmes - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
90 The Faraway Tree Collection
91 Heart of Darkness - Joseph Conrad
92 The Little Prince - Antoine De Saint-Exupery
93 The Wasp Factory - Iain Banks
94 Watership Down - Richard Adams
95 A Confederacy of Dunces - John Kennedy Toole
96 A Town Like Alice - Nevil Shute
97 The Three Musketeers - Alexandre Dumas
98 Hamlet - William Shakespeare
99 Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - Roald Dahl - i think im the only one who hates this book
100 Les Miserables - Victor Hugo - read it in french---BLAH!!! i didnt really understand it but i did read it...and then saw the play 3 times!

my letters

Dear XM satellite radio programmers:
I am just writing this letter to inform you of the fact that Coldplay sucks. They are the worst band EVER. I do not think you are aware of this fact, as my XM radio has been over run with this crappy band's songs. Not only am I subjected to their crappiness on the alternate rock stations and pop stations, you hve now decided to provide me with "30 days of coldplay". Do I look like a Middle eastern that the Bush amdinistration put in Gitmo? Frankly ,I think waterboarding may be more pleasurable then 30 days of that whiny shit coldplay likes to call music. In addition, was it really neccesary to give them their OWN station (in the process of getting rid of the all Led Zepplin station) but UPOP as well. NOw I know that COldplay is the most popular band in Europe...however, unlike Europeans, i shave my armpits and dont wear speedos, so therefore I should not be tortured with this shitty music. If you felt so inclined to subject me to European music, why is there not "30 days of Led Zepplin" or "30 days of the beetles."
In conclusion I would like to please please please please, for the love of god and my sanity, STOP playing COldplay. They suck.
Sincerely,
Thais K. Migliaro
PS - Members of coldplay - was it neccesary for you to re-make "bittersweet Symphony?" It was "the Verve's" only good song....must you ruin everything???!!!???

Dear women with big boobs who wear shelf bras:
I am writing this letter to let you know that unless you are an A cup, you can not wear only a shelf bra in a tank top. No one wants to see your saggy mammary glands hanging down to your knees...you look stupid. Those tank tops were created for anorexic models who have no boobs. If you are a normal human being, gone through puberty and dont make yourself vomit every 5 minutes, you more then likely can not rely on utilizing a shelf bra in a tank top. I understand that wearing bras are uncomfortable...i myself dont like them either...but sometimes we need to make sacrfices.
thank you
sincerely,
thais K Migliaro
PS: To all those woman who wear thongs: You can not wear thongs with cotton pants.....Thongs, as you know, are designed to go up your butt to prevent "unsightly" panty lines...well, when you wear a thong and cotton pants, it looks like you ass is eating your pants...and that is even more unattractive then panty lines...just an FYI

Dear upper left wisdom tooth:
Fuck you - you are an asshole. Just you and your kind wait - evolution is a bitch.
sincerely,
thais K Migliaro

Monday, July 7, 2008

so i think that some people just dont know how to take me....

i say things that seem really really funny in my brain...and they seem funyn to me when i say them...usually they are laced with sarcasm and curses, but none-the-less i think i am funny.

Apparently other people do not, because aside from a select few, people just look at me like i have lost my mind. I especially get this stare from OT students at work and people i do not know very well. I find it annoying...is it just that they are just too stupid to understand my humor? Or am i really just an unfunny asshole....hmmm....something to think about.

While you ar eall pondering that, I would just like to say that for hte next 3 weeks, i will have 2 teenagers resdiing with me...so take it easy on me

Sunday, July 6, 2008

I dont think this is accurate---it should be much higher

YOU ARE 72% BITCHY

You Are 72% Bitchy
While you may not think of yourself as the ice queen, admit it, you're often in a bad mood.
And it's those around you who often bear the brunt of your annoyance, even if they haven't done anything wrong!

Friday, July 4, 2008

I heart new jersey

I am just writing this blog to re-declare my love of the great state of New Jersey!
I was reflecting upon this while journeying up the Parkway (the greatest roadway ever).

I love nj because of the massive shore migration that occurs every single summer on the weekends...no matter your class, creed, race, whatever, if you are a native jersian you have this internal biorythym that makes you want to migrate down the shore like a drone with the hoards to find your small patch of sand.....and, despite the crowds, expensive gas, dirty seagulls, freezing ocean, and fucking New Yorkers who cant drive ( GO TO YOUR OWN BEACHES!!) and have obnoxious accents (to be discussed in a later blog) , you still feel like you have your own piece of heaven.

I love new jersey because you can have a casual conversation at parties with fellow jerseyians, throw the word "FUCK" around casually and no one cares ---in fact, it is jsut considered part of normal speech

I love New Jersey because being from New Jersey makes rocking out to Bon Jovi on the radio just that much better....i cant imagine "living on a prayer" would get my heart racing as it does unless i was from new jersey...its like one of our anthems.....as a mater of fact, is there was a state anthem , im sure it would be "livin' on a prayer"

I love New Jersey because there is a diner on every corner...and the food is always good

I love New Jersey because I can always have an attitude all the time and no one thinks there is anything wrong with that...as a matter of fact, i didnt have an attitude, people would think there was something wrong

I love New Jersey becuase i can go to the city, the mountain or the beach all within 1 hour

I love New Jersey because pretty much 95 percent of the population can identify where they live based an exit number off the turnpike or parkway....for instance, if I would say to a fellow jersian "I live off of Exit 10 on the Turnpike or exit 127 off the Parkway", they would know exactly what Im talking about.

I love new jersey because the food. Within walking from my house, i can get italian, portguese, irish, "american", vietamese, indian, greek, and chinese. With 10 miles of my house I can pretty much get any type of food in the world.

Thursday, July 3, 2008

who installs a baby changing station in a bathroon in a psychiatric hospital for the most severely mentally ill? Did the state have to pay for that in the construction? Would people actaully bring their young children there (even though its against policy?)...hmmm....

Wednesday, July 2, 2008

wild turkeys and oil in watchung

Have you ever had one of the mornings where you feel like you may have sampled some of the mushrooms from Alice in Wonderland? As a matter of fact, ironically, CNN had a piece on the spiritulaity of taking 'shrooms today....
So, anyway, i digress - I was in my daze and i had to sit for 25 minutes on the approach to the watchung circle...I was so irritated when i got up there! I have no idea what the hell they were doing, but i swear to god, it looked like they were drilling for oil! And i was so hostile and cranky and tired and out of it that i actaully got MAD that the borough of Watchung was not going to share the oil with me....and that i have to pay 4 dollars per gallon to fill my tank..yeah i was out of it....
And then i got to work and the largest freakin' turkey I have ever seenwalked in front of my car and looked right at me...i swear to god, he gave me the stink eye! And then he wouldnt move...i beeped my horn and he just sat there and looked at me....
grrr...
i need a vacation....or to work later hours :)