my letters

Dear XM satellite radio programmers:
I am just writing this letter to inform you of the fact that Coldplay sucks. They are the worst band EVER. I do not think you are aware of this fact, as my XM radio has been over run with this crappy band's songs. Not only am I subjected to their crappiness on the alternate rock stations and pop stations, you hve now decided to provide me with "30 days of coldplay". Do I look like a Middle eastern that the Bush amdinistration put in Gitmo? Frankly ,I think waterboarding may be more pleasurable then 30 days of that whiny shit coldplay likes to call music. In addition, was it really neccesary to give them their OWN station (in the process of getting rid of the all Led Zepplin station) but UPOP as well. NOw I know that COldplay is the most popular band in Europe...however, unlike Europeans, i shave my armpits and dont wear speedos, so therefore I should not be tortured with this shitty music. If you felt so inclined to subject me to European music, why is there not "30 days of Led Zepplin" or "30 days of the beetles."
In conclusion I would like to please please please please, for the love of god and my sanity, STOP playing COldplay. They suck.
Sincerely,
Thais K. Migliaro
PS - Members of coldplay - was it neccesary for you to re-make "bittersweet Symphony?" It was "the Verve's" only good song....must you ruin everything???!!!???

Dear women with big boobs who wear shelf bras:
I am writing this letter to let you know that unless you are an A cup, you can not wear only a shelf bra in a tank top. No one wants to see your saggy mammary glands hanging down to your knees...you look stupid. Those tank tops were created for anorexic models who have no boobs. If you are a normal human being, gone through puberty and dont make yourself vomit every 5 minutes, you more then likely can not rely on utilizing a shelf bra in a tank top. I understand that wearing bras are uncomfortable...i myself dont like them either...but sometimes we need to make sacrfices.
thank you
sincerely,
thais K Migliaro
PS: To all those woman who wear thongs: You can not wear thongs with cotton pants.....Thongs, as you know, are designed to go up your butt to prevent "unsightly" panty lines...well, when you wear a thong and cotton pants, it looks like you ass is eating your pants...and that is even more unattractive then panty lines...just an FYI

Dear upper left wisdom tooth:
Fuck you - you are an asshole. Just you and your kind wait - evolution is a bitch.
sincerely,
thais K Migliaro